REPORT 27    MAY 2005

My books were picked up by the local undertaker . . .

The first day of the du Maurier Festival at which I did a Town Hall spiel in the afternoon ( Royalty Statements - a sort of work in progress on Royalty and royalties) and tomorrow we go to Heathrow on the first leg of the journey to South Australia where I present the Max Fatchen Literary Awards on the evening of the day we arrive followed by speaking at the President's lunch in Wallaroo on Friday 13th. Penny and I both get to ride in a vintage car procession and I help Professor Philip Payton judge the floats in the carnival procession. There's posh!, as they're alleged to say in Wales. Actually the Kernewek Lowender sounds huge fun - the biggest Cornish Festival in the world.

On April 18th I left a copy of one of my books - "Masterstroke" aka, in the States, "A Small Masterpiece" - for someone to pick up and read. This was part of the launch of something called the Author Association which is a sort of authors' organization affiliated to Bookcrossing and part of Book Aid International which is itself the successor to the Ranfurly Library. Too much information. Years ago I used to offload books to the Ranfurly, started by the redoubtable Lady Ranfurly, as a means of getting books to the library-starved countries of Africa. It seemed a bit ramshackle in those days. My books were picked up by the local undertaker, Mr. Chalker of Chalker and Gamble, who came calling in his hearse. Nowadays the organization is computerized but still small and un-flashy. I love it because it's a great cause and the charity is finely focused. You know quite precisely where your help is going. If you're interested the contact is Madeleine Langford-Allen and her e-mail is madeleine.langford-allen@bookaid.org

For what it's worth I think this is a charity well worth supporting particularly if you're a reader and writer in the privileged west.

Much of the last month has been cheerfully domestic. It's the sort of life writers like and live by. I agreed to collaborate with my friend the TV producer/director David Taylor on an amazing novel guaranteed to make us squillions. Yes, yes, I have been here before. In fact I seem to have been here every year for the past four decades or so. Anyway David has a fantastic idea and a lifetime of research with which to support it. So we're approaching it in the time-honoured Time Magazine way. Well, sort of. He sends me detailed research notes and plot outlines and I try to knock them into deathless commercial prose. It seems to be going quite well but it's time-consuming and speculative. It also means that "Death on the Ocean Wave" has taken a bit of a back seat. Commercially this is probably sensible because the advances and guarantees for the Tudor Cornwall books are miniscule. On the other hand the great Philip Oakes gave Dearth and the D'Urbervilles a terrific notice in the Literary Review ("Playful, ingenious, diverting") and I feel that the series has serious potential for things like paperback, TV and so on. But Michael Motley won't be able to make a proper pitch until he has a trilogy or even a quartet to offer.

Meanwhile I have done some fascinating work on the Princess Margaret biography. Penny and I spent a thoroughly enjoyable weekend in Norfolk with Ion and Sue Trewin at their lovely house in Dersingham. Sue very kindly lent me her sexy little BMW sports car and on a fine Saturday we put the lid down and I drove Penny over to Lady Glenconner's farmhouse at Burnham Thorpe and then to Lord Ullswater's Old Rectory at Docking. Lady G was a great friend and longstanding lady-in-waiting and Lord U, PM's private secretary for the last few years. On Sunday the four of us went to Mattins at Sandringham Parish Church and did a tour of the house. 

On Monday I had a great session with Ros Chatto (Sarah, Armstrong-Jones' mother-in-law) and a jolly lunch with Ion and Sir Brian McGrath at the Garrick. On Wednesday it was lunch with Kenneth Rose another friend of PM. In between all this there were sessions at the Public Record Office - not altogether satisfactory; the Author of the Year Party at Hatchard's - excellent -; and the Veuve Clicquot Businesswoman of the Year reception at Claridges where I bumped into Colin Ingleby-Mackenzie and we agreed to have a Denis Compton memorial lunch. 

Back home on the sleeper and rugby in Plymouth (Albion v London Welsh) with Brigadier Bob and on the Sunday a lunch to eat the kassler I bought in Germany during my visit to the Reichswald cemetery with General Sir John - he was enthusiastic about my piece but neither Boris Johnson nor Paul Dacre have even acknowledged it. Then a flying visit to London to get a new passport because although the current one is perfectly valid , the Singaporeans won't let one in unless you have at least six months outstanding on your passport when you return to the UK. I would have thought for a Commonwealth member to do this is barely legal given Her Majesty's Foreign Secretary's note at the front of the document but I suppose nowadays anyone can do what they want.

Meanwhile I am grappling with the new laptop and have gone on to Broadband and today talked for 55 minutes, sans notes, to an apparently appreciative audience of between 40 and 50, having sat up till 3am watching mostly dull and predictable election results - sadly Stanley Johnson failed by several thousand votes at Teignbridge. Pity. He'd have been excellent and would have brought much needed colour to parliament. Strange talking in the town hall with its evocative black and white photo of the Queen to reflect that newly elected or re-elected Prime Ministers have been nipping up to Buckingham Palace for a word with her for more than half a century. Today Tony Blair; then Winston Churchill.

So, tomorrow the Holiday Inn, Heathrow; then the Tanglin Club, Singapore followed closely by Ashurst Farmhouse north of Bute, South Australia. I'm not surprised I seem a little confused!  

Tim Heald

Report Number 27  MAY 2005                                                                               Return to Homepage